Big Bunny’s Byline

bigbunnyblog photoYo. Big Bunny here. I am a rabbit and I gots lots to say. Follow my blog, kiddies. ‘Cause you know no adults out there care what a stupid rabbit has to say. Even if he does play the piano. Like me. Big Bunny.

February 19, 2014

Top o’the morning, kiddies. Big Bunny, here. Today, let’s talk waist lines. Yep, even us rabbits have to worry about eating too much. See us rabbits need exercise. And good food. If we don’t get enough exercise and good food, we get fat. And its not good for us. Well, us pet rabbits. So, my people? They give me hay and greens and limit my pellets. Now, I like those pellets! But, they will only give me a small amount of pellets and then, they load me up on greens and hay. The hay is pretty good. It comes in a brown paper bag from a feed store. Once, my people got me this hay that came in a plastic bag. Let me tell you kiddies, it was nasty! I’m pretty sure it was at least last year’s hay and it tasted sort of like the plastic bag they brought it home in. Yuck. Now, that nice, good-smelling fresh stuff from the feed store? Yum. And my people say its way, way cheaper at the feed store. Go figure, that. Anyway, that’s the 411 from Big Bunny. Youse all have a great day. I gotta date with some hay.

September 19, 2013

Yo, kiddies. I am Big Bunny. Today, I overheard one of the people call me a “green waste receptacle”. Green waste?! Turns out, all those delightful goodies I get from the kitchen are SCRAPS from making dinner! Scraps? Now, I don’t know about you, but I think mango peels are just about the best thing EVER, bud. And those apple pits I got the day before? Delicious, bud. Evidently, when making dinner, any vegetable and fruit scraps go to us rabbits. Carrot tops, mango peels, you name it. If it is a vegetable, I’ll take it. Except for onion. I’m not too crazy about onion. And you know what, bud? Those crazy people use our litter boxes to fertilize their plants. So, their “green waste” goes to fertilize their plants. What will they think of next? Well, bud, I’ll keep you in the know. That’s all until next time. Big Bunny out.

July 24, 2013

What is up, my rabs? Big Bunny, here. Darndest thing happened yesterday. It was a bit muggy, maybe a little hot, and do you know what those crazy people did? They brought the hot bunny chicks into the house-one at a time and let them run around MY living room! Now, I do get that the hot bunny chicks are litter box trained like me, and I do get that they are smart like me, Big Bunny, but one of those hot bunny chicks was EATING OUT OF MY BOWL! Now, I didn’t actually see this action, but that akita, Koga, told me. He said, Hey, stoopid rabbit, somebunny is eating out of your bowl and it’s not you!. Dumb dog thought that was pretty funny and went off laughing at me. I overhead one of those crazy people saying that on hot days, 30 minutes in the house running around in a large space is good for an outdoor rabbit. Can you even believe that? Well, we’ll just see about this. Big Bunny, on the warpath, until next time. Out, bud.

June 16, 2013

Top o’ the day, kiddies. It is SUMMER. And here in SoCal, its starting to get hot. We rabbits don’t do as well with heat as we do with cold. Things that you rabbit owners can do for us this summer: give us ice blocks or frozen water bottles (we promise we won’t go ice blocking, really, bub), make sure we have lots of clean water, give us a fan that isn’t blowing directly at us (we hate drafts), and give us lots of nice, cool veggies! Also, bub, make sure we have some shade. That sun, bub, is a killer. We are animals that live in the cool dirt, bub, and we don’t like direct sun all day. Till next time, bub. Stay cool!

May 3, 2013

Yo. Big Bunny here. Been a bit, eh? I been busy. It is Spring, you know, and the days are getting longer. That is good for growing greens and other things we rabbits like to eat. Speaking of what we like to eat…let’s talk teeth today, Bud. Cause us rabbits have some pretty special teeth. They grow and grow and we need things like applewood to chew on. Those couch legs are pretty good, too, now that I think on it. Even though our teeth keep growing, we gnaw them down eating greens and chewing on things. Sometimes, though, Bud, a rabbit can have crooked teeth. Talk about a bum rap. That poor rabbit does not stand a chance, Bud. Unless they happen to have a person that knows about the crooked teeth and cuts them. That’s right, Bud. A rabbit with crooked teeth can live as long a life and as good a life as me, Big Bunny, if they have a person who will cut their teeth. But, if their person does not know about those crooked teeth, Bud? Well, they will keep growing and growing until they grow into the poor schmuck’s gums and then, Bud? Well, it ain’t pretty. Its all over, except for the barbecuing. Big Bunny out until next time, Bud. Ciao.

March 19, 2013

Greetings, kiddies. It’s me. Big Bunny. Not the freaking Easter Bunny. Do these look like eggs to you, bud? Apparently, the Easter Bunny idea has been around since the 1600s, bud. Can you believe that? Some German dude wrote about the Easter Bunny more than 300 years ago and now, every year about this time, I gotta put up with kids squealing and carrying on because they think I’m the Easter Bunny. I ain’t. We rabbits, and our close cousins, the hares, have been affiliated with Spring for centuries. Way before some German bloke wrote about the Easter bunny. We tend to have lots of babies, all the time, bud, but especially in Spring. So, people have thought of us as ‘fertile’ like Spring herself. We also tend to get kinda frisky in Spring. We’ll run and jump and act pretty silly. Dis type of behavior gave rise to the phrase “mad as a March hare”. We rabbits really are pretty important to this time of year, Bud. But, we don’t lay colored eggs. For that, you gotta go elsewhere, Bud. Big Bunny out until next time. And Happy Spring!

February 19, 2013

Today, we’re talking toys. I like toys, bud. All kinds. I’ll play with my food bowl, my water bottle, the chunks of wood da people give me, that big gray and white akita… you name it bud, I’ll play with it. But, I am most fond of a little number da people made for me. Just for me. Big Bunny. The people strung four wooden blocks together and hung a bell on the end. How easy is that? Apparently, they bought the little blocks and the bell at a ‘craft store’ for a few bucks. And they just used cloth string. They strung the blocks and the bell real close to each other, so I can’t accidentally chew the string. Clever, eh? Then, they attached it to my cage and bam, bud! I got a fun little chew toy that tinkles pleasantly when I swat it around. I can chew on it, too. It’s even better that my water bottle. And that is sayin’ a lot, bud. Big Bunny, out. Until next time.

January 28, 2013

Haay, bud. That’s right. Hay. We’re talking prime dried grass, bud. Us rabbits really really like our hay. See, we’re rodents, bud, and we like to eat. And frankly, I’m hungry a LOT. If all I ate was pellets, bud, I’d be one hefty bunny. Wow. Talk about chub. My rolls would have rolls. If all I ate was greens, well, that would cause me some gastronomic distress, bud. We’re talking gross stuff. So, hay. My personal favorite is da stuff, the people get from a place dey call da Feed Barn. It’s almost to die for, bud. Mmmm. They also get me stuff from someplace called Midway City Feed. Or RDR. Whatever that is. My hay is fresh stuff, bud. It comes in paper bags or white plastic bags with no labels. I can’t stand that stuff other rabbits get from pet stores. It’s in plastic bags with bright labels and let me tell you, bud. That stuff ain’t fresh. It’s old and tastes like plastic bags or akita feet. Don’t ask me how I know that. You’re much happier not knowing, Bud. Till next time…Big Bunny out.

December 18, 2012

Hey, ladies. Check me out! Big Bunny. I am a fine lookin’ example of prime rabbit. Let me tell you ladies about my place. I live in a snazzy living room. Yep, that’s right. I got the whole space. OK, occasionally, those akitas come through, but they know better than ta mess wit’ me. My people say I am “litter box trained”. Apparently, all da bunnies on the Farm are “litter box trained”. The people say its easier to keep us clean. They also say we’re easy to train ’cause rabbits are smart. No duh, bud. We rabbits are darned smart. The people say they just keep the litter boxes clean and in the place us bunnies have chosen to ‘go’ and after a week or two, we get the picture. You get the picture, bud? Some of the bunnies like to play with the litter boxes. What can I say? Us rabbits like toys! The people figure out ways to keep the litter boxes in place.

Anyway, back to my place. I go into my cage at night, but most of the rest of the time, I got the run of the joint. The people have removed all of the plugs from my reach. And da’ books. Too bad. I LIKE books. Darned tasty! I do nibble on wood furniture legs from time to time, but my people, see, they give me apple wood and stash it in my favorite places. Given painted furniture or real live chunks of apple wood, I mostly stick to da’ apple wood. Mostly. I do hop up onto da’ furniture from time to time looking for tasty books, but since the “library book incident”, they are pretty good about putting them away. Darn the luck. Until next time, Happy Holidays, Bud. Big Bunny out.

November 28, 2012.

Yo-bud. Apparently, this here is my inaugural run. Yeah, baby. The people figured they’d let me yammer at anyone who clicked on this link. I got things to say, bud. You’re thinking, what’s a bunny got to say of interest? Well, let me tell you about the choice lettuce I got today, bud. I heard my people say they got it ‘free’ at the local Mother’s. I don’t know what a Mother’s is, but I’ve had oats and barley from that joint, too. My people come home with large trash bags of veggies and fruits they get from the ‘grocery store’. The folks at the store call it ‘trim’ and they THROW IT AWAY!! Can you believe that bud? Starving rabbits all over da’ world and these grocery store blokes are throwing good food away. And people say I’m the dumb animal. So, my people, they call the store in ‘da mornings and ask if there is trim. If there is, I eat pretty for a WEEK. Me and those hot bunny chicks out back. Oh, yeah, bud. Life ain’t so bad. Big Bunny out until next time, bud.